Frustration

These days, daily life gives us any number of reasons for our frustration button to be pushed hard. You name it, the weather, the economy, our jobs, family… and facing the day-to-day challenges of a medical condition.

It is only human to feel frustrated when life seems to be throwing one curveball after another, to ask questions like “what is this happening to me?” Lingering frustration can be a “gift” that keeps on giving. It can bring up a lot of strong feelings that may be hard to sort out. It can make you wonder if there is anything you can do to fix things, and if you should even bother to try. Frustration can leave you with a pretty bleak view of your future.

Show yourself some compassion… and patience. Go easy on yourself, tell yourself that you are facing a lot and that you are doing the best you can under the circumstances, and that you will find a way to face his challenge, as you have faced others in the past. Turn your compassion outward. If you can stop being hard on yourself you will also be less likely to be hard on others.

Life on Life's Terms

I have been thinking a lot lately about how random our lives are. I am not trying to be negative or fatalistic here, but in my own life and the lives of people around me I am constantly being reminded of how so much of life -- no, most of life -- is completely out of our control. The whole course of our lives, what we thought we would have or be or do, can suddenly change, in the time it takes to read an email message, make a phone call, or meet with a physician. When we give up the illusion that we are in complete control of our lives, and instead decide to live life on life's terms, we free up a lot of energy that can be used toward making the most of each moment. So I don't have to be in control of everything? What a relief!

95%

A good friend is dealing with a health concern, and is going in for testing today. When I was telling her how concerned I am for her, she mad the comment that 95% of life is out of our control. I was thinking about how the experience of being a caregiver brought that realization home for me. We have no idea. Life is not just, it just is. People get sick, they need help, they inconvenience us, we love them, we deal with reality. One of the first things we give up us our need to control. But when we do, it makes it a lot easier to give up whatever else we have to give up. Life on life's terms, not our terms.