Facing Challenges

Sometimes it can feel like life throws a lot of curveballs at once, and they come at us so fast that we feel like we don't know which one to try and catch, or if we should even bother to try.

Here's a way to look at what's going on in your life in a way that might help to reduce your anxiety.

I would recommend thinking of each challenge separately, as if you were holding each one in a bucket. For example, your finances may be one problem. Your relationships may be another problem. Managing your medical condition is one problem. Identify the other problems you are facing and place each one in its own bucket.

Then, go from one bucket to the next, one at a time rather than all at once. As you examine what's in each bucket, ask yourself: What do I have control over here and and what do I not have control over? Is there anything about this problem that needs my attention? What do I have to do? What do I have to accept?

Decide what you can and can't do. Take necessary action. And then go on to the next bucket.

This isn't magic. Your problems aren't going to magically go away. But you can at least see where you are making headway and where you aren't, and you can see what you need to do. And maybe you can even see where you need to relax.

The point is to look at your life challenges in a way that provides you with the opportunity to see where they can, individually, be managed. It's when we see only this big mass of trouble that we feel overwhelmed.

Part of coping with life is realizing what we can change and what we can't change, and then deciding how best to go with the flow.

I would also encourage you to reach out for support. Friends, family members, who can listen objectively when you need to talk. You might also consider reaching out to a mental health professional to help you to maintain your perspective as you deal with these challenges.

Celebrate your support team over the holidays

Support is a critical element in coping with a medical diagnosis. It's important to have someone -- or a few someones -- who can listen objectively, and who won't pass judgment or try to "fix' the newly-diagnosed patient. Unfortunately, friends and family members are often not so helpful in offering emotional support, mainly because they are dealing with their own emotional reactions to the diagnosis, and their own helplessness. Objective friends, members of the clergy, a support group, or a mental health professional may be better suited for this role. Family members may be more helpful once they have dealt with their own initial reactions to the diagnosis but, unfortunately, this is the time that the patient really needs them. If you are facing a medical diagnosis, who is standing beside you? Celebrate your team during the holiday season. Let them know how much they mean to you! And while you're at it, ask them how you can support them in return. Compassion is a boomerang!

You are not your pain, you are not your diagnosis

I am often reminded how easy it is to become so preoccupied with a diagnosis -- whether it is a medical or a mental health diagnosis -- that life seems to become the diagnosis or, more to the point, the individual seems to turn into a diagnosis. A depression. A diabetes. A cancer. Life becomes about living the diagnosis -- the medications, side effects, lifestyle adjustments -- and every interaction, every thought, is somehow related to the diagnosis. At some point, individuals begin to define themselves as who they were before the diagnosis and who they are now. But you are not a diagnosis. You are a multi-faceted human being with a past, a present, and a future. Your diagnosis is part of you, but only a part. You can choose how much real estate you want to give up.

Coming soon: a lot more diabetics

If you spend any time tooling around the Internet news sites, you have probably run across the recent news that, by 2050, up to 1 of 3 adults may be diagnosed with diabetes. Of course, this will lead, fairly or unfairly, to further alarms being sounded regarding the problem of obesity. But as someone who is focused on helping patients to cope emotionally with their diagnosis, and get prepared for the road ahead -- treatment decisions, lifestyle changes, changes in relationships and roles -- I am also concerned about how these individuals are going to deal with this, and other diagnoses. Currently, the medical establishment isn't set up to help patients with these issues, and the patients themselves not only are most likely not aware of alternate resources, they aren't even aware of what they need. Who is going to step in and lend a hand?

Connected to the compassion crowd?

When someone first learns that they have been diagnosed with a health condition, it's important to connect with people who can listen without judgment and without thinking they have to do something to 'fix' their newly-diagnosed loved one. What's going on with the people you count on? Are they able to sit with you, to listen and simply to be there? Or are they dealing, or not dealing, with their own reactions and unable to listen to how you are feeling? If your own support network can't be supportive, find a new one. Check out your local mental health resources for counselors or support groups. Check out online support communties like alliancehealth.com. Don't go through this alone!

just got diagnosed is coming

Hi,

I decided to create a blog separate from my Website, www.justgotdiagnosed.com. Please keep watching for my first entry!